Ryan's self important blathering

Dear everyone

2008-08-11T07:05:00.000-07:00

dear members of the internet:

You know that thing where you "cough" as you say a word, and it sounds as though you are being sneaky about the word you are saying, though the whole thing is really just for comic effect?

You know what I mean.

Anyway, this particular humor device does not work in text. At all. There's no way to convey this textually. So quit trying. If I have to read *cough*funnything*cough* one more time my mind grapes are gonna burst.

Elizabeth, it's still up

2008-08-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

It's not often that I perpetuate the "youtube poop" thing, but damn. If I were drinking milk when I saw this, it would have become nose milk quite quickly.

EDIT: OK, the part at the end is fake, but who cares.

Secrets of Corporate America Part 2

2008-07-31T16:48:00.000-07:00

Another exciting note from my travels through time and polo shirts.

Our corporate overlords do quite a bit for us in the office. We've got a cafeteria, a gift shop, a non-terrible corporate library, discounts on tickets to places, it's really pretty OK. But some of the best little programs are the things people cooked up themselves. For example, on the first floor you've got this:

Now, I don't know the origin of this particular monument to the "one man's trash" theory, but the MSWord-printed sign definitely gives it a home cooked feel. And it's being used, too. One of the newer Harry Potter books is there in hardback, and I happened upon one of the most famous comp sci books ever, actually.

Of course, some of the stuff on the shelf is pretty off the wall.

I'm not sure what exactly makes code "solid," but I'll leave it for someone else to find out.

A new thing

2008-07-19T08:45:00.001-07:00

So I'm beginning a new series. For those of you who don't know, I work for a very large company in a very large building. Let's just say that if the company were to hold a softball game and invite everyone who works in my building to watch, Midway stadium would be insufficient.

Anyway.

Sometimes when I'm walking around in my building, I find funny things. Like anyone exploring a strange and unfamiliar place, I have decided to share these funny things with you.

I call it Secrets of Corporate America

We'll start off with this little curiosity. On the 2nd floor, near the skyway between building C and D, is...

a dumbwaiter?

I imagine that this used to deliver... something... to someone...

Maybe the suits up on the 5th floor get room service?

But then why is there a stop on every floor?

I didn't dare to try to send something on it. Someday I will.

Always on some silly project

2008-07-11T17:03:00.001-07:00

I was intrigued with the idea of a "premium pen" when I encountered the store in the mall of america dedicated to the concept. Debaters are generally particular about their pens, but I don't know anyone who requires anything more "primo" than that which can be purchased at staples.

I was a little too worried that I would like the $200 Mont Blanc pens too much, so I decided not to try them out. However, I have since wondered whether the experience is truly different.

Well thanks to some real men or women of genius, I am now going to try to upgrade my pen experience on the cheap.

UPDATE: upon reading the comments on the linked page, it looks like doing this to a retractable pen risks the ink drying out too fast. Luckily Pilot sells a capped version of the g2 as well, though I'm not sure if its as ubiquitous as the G2

Oh yeah one more thing

2008-06-21T16:37:00.001-07:00

Some of you may already know that Jessie and I have found a new co-obsession with one of those damn video games that the kids are playing these days. In fact, that's why we added PC #2 in our apartment. Anyway, if you like video games, or fun, or yourself, you should play this game this weekend. Two reasons.

1. It's accessible while still being deep. It's got loads of strategy and adrelanine and good ol' fashion fun and games. Quite possibly the best multiplayer game ever. You heard me.

2. For the rest of the weekend, it's free. You got nothing to lose except your boredom.

Not too shabby

2008-06-21T16:22:00.000-07:00

It's nice, after a week of trying to get a goddamn old computer to run (word of advice for those building their own PCs: don't cheap out on power!), and a morning of painstakingly assembling sweedish furniture, to find that your TV stand matches your hardwood floor without any effort on your part.

Thank you Sweeden.

Down the tubes

2008-06-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

Over the course of my life, I have purchased, and lost, the following:

at least 3 mini-to-1/4" plug adapters
at least 2 1/4"-to-mini adapters
at least 2 DS chargers
at least 3 sets of headphones
at least 2 iPod cables
at least 5 SNES games (remember kids, friends don't let friends borrow video games)
at least 3 N64 games (or your brother)
a good dozen CDs.

I think that I'm some special kind of retarded where if I buy a thing that has a smaller thing that comes with it, I just let the smaller thing fall into an abyss or something.

Now where the hell is my Ipod cable.

Nerd Stuff

2008-06-07T18:08:00.000-07:00

I'm a well known Linux Snob, so this won't come as a surprise for those who know me, but I just can't resist the chance to gloat about free software.

Anyway, so the computer's acting a little screwy lately. Files freezing, old stuff that won't delete, etc. Yesterday it escalates to a full scale freeze whenever one attempts to open D:\downloads. Since this folder is under pretty constant read/write load, I spose it makes sense that it'd be the first to go.

Anyway, windows was goddamn helpless to fix it. Disk check puked, safe mode couldn't even see the drive.

Luckily, a badass little bird came to my rescue. I'm in the middle of a good ol fsck right now. Afternoon delight.

Anyway, I hadn't had cause to download the new ubuntu CD yet. It. Is. Goddamn. Slick.

Seriously, if you've ever thought to yourself "goddamn it windows, what the hell?" do yourself a favor and try it out It'll take you under an hour to download and you can play around with it all you like before you decide to install or not.

Free as in awesome.

Fucking tasty

2008-05-29T20:31:00.000-07:00

maybe its my grass-is-greener optimism, maybe its my focus on the small pleasures in life, maybe I'm just weird.

Wanna know my favorite thing in the world right now?

I can get water from the tap and it actually tastes like water. How you like that, Dallas?

Goddamn does the UTD water tastes like ass. Must be all the nerd in the environment.

back on the blog-wagon

2008-05-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

decided to start up the ol' personal blog again, primarily because I like the sound of my own voice.

Anyway, here is the important message for today:

If you live in minnesota, go see this show. I knew Cas Haley before he was Cas Haley, and the man puts on an excellent show.

You might know him from America's Got Talent. I assure you he's even better live with the full band (Cas's band is called Woodbelly, but he got famous as a solo act so it's the same band, different name)

For 13 bucks, you will not be disappointed. I guarantee it.

motherfucker

2007-05-18T09:07:00.001-07:00

So if you've spent any time near me recently you've probably heard me bitch about the lack of someplace to get decent coffee around here, as apparantly all that these fucking north dallas richies can stand is starbucks.

ick.

Anyway, one of my main gripes about starbucks is that I want a goddamn coffee, not a caffeine explosion. Even their small size is too fucking big, it's even named a "tall" (suggesting big) for godsakes.

Well, as it turns out, it's named a tall because there is a secret menu option for "short." Yeah that's right. You can order it, but it's not on the menu.

Fuck. Capitalism.

I'ma go get me a short cappucino.

It's a long way to the top

2007-04-05T08:56:00.001-07:00

I don't know if you've heard of Harmonix's new game, but shit, I'm wishing that I had a 360 right now. I already have possible band configurations swirling around in my head.

Yo ho ho

2007-03-28T15:50:00.000-07:00

I was walking around today handing out flyers, and I noticed something that makes me realize why people have cellphone cameras. In Waterview, in phase 2, someone has parked a boat. It's a sailboat.

Think about it for a minute. The owner of this fine vessel can honestly have the following conversation:

"Hey, class got out early, wanna go sailing?"

I want badly to meet this person.

comedy of errors

2007-03-28T15:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I learned something. Any conversation that ends in the realization "Oh, so you are two different people?" generally is the harbinger of bad things.

Ted Kaczynski had it all wrong.

2007-03-26T16:00:00.000-07:00

I was at the post office today, and apparently it is entirely legal to ship live bees through the US postal service.

Frankly, I'm surprised that that feature hasn't been more widely abused. I could think of a few people who deserve a big ol' swarm of bees for Christmas.

Oh man, don't fuck with me, or seriously, bees. You'll think it's Girl Scout cookies or a stuffed teddy bear with a card, but no. Bees.

Jokes that aren't funny anymore, volume 1.

2007-03-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

Dear everyone,

Prison rape jokes aren't funny anymore.
In fact, they never were.
So just quit it.

Seriously.

Love,
Me.