Ryan's self important blathering

I was walking around today handing out flyers, and I noticed something that makes me realize why people have cellphone cameras. In Waterview, in phase 2, someone has parked a boat. It's a sailboat.

Think about it for a minute. The owner of this fine vessel can honestly have the following conversation:

"Hey, class got out early, wanna go sailing?"

I want badly to meet this person.

Yesterday I learned something. Any conversation that ends in the realization "Oh, so you are two different people?" generally is the harbinger of bad things.

I was at the post office today, and apparently it is entirely legal to ship live bees through the US postal service.

Frankly, I'm surprised that that feature hasn't been more widely abused. I could think of a few people who deserve a big ol' swarm of bees for Christmas.

Oh man, don't fuck with me, or seriously, bees. You'll think it's Girl Scout cookies or a stuffed teddy bear with a card, but no. Bees.

Dear everyone,

Prison rape jokes aren't funny anymore.
In fact, they never were.
So just quit it.

Seriously.

Love,
Me.

Labels: jokes