Ryan's self important blathering

dear members of the internet:

You know that thing where you "cough" as you say a word, and it sounds as though you are being sneaky about the word you are saying, though the whole thing is really just for comic effect?

You know what I mean.

Anyway, this particular humor device does not work in text. At all. There's no way to convey this textually. So quit trying. If I have to read *cough*funnything*cough* one more time my mind grapes are gonna burst.

It's not often that I perpetuate the "youtube poop" thing, but damn. If I were drinking milk when I saw this, it would have become nose milk quite quickly.



EDIT: OK, the part at the end is fake, but who cares.

Another exciting note from my travels through time and polo shirts.

Our corporate overlords do quite a bit for us in the office. We've got a cafeteria, a gift shop, a non-terrible corporate library, discounts on tickets to places, it's really pretty OK. But some of the best little programs are the things people cooked up themselves. For example, on the first floor you've got this:





Now, I don't know the origin of this particular monument to the "one man's trash" theory, but the MSWord-printed sign definitely gives it a home cooked feel. And it's being used, too. One of the newer Harry Potter books is there in hardback, and I happened upon one of the most famous comp sci books ever, actually.

Of course, some of the stuff on the shelf is pretty off the wall.



I'm not sure what exactly makes code "solid," but I'll leave it for someone else to find out.

So I'm beginning a new series. For those of you who don't know, I work for a very large company in a very large building. Let's just say that if the company were to hold a softball game and invite everyone who works in my building to watch, Midway stadium would be insufficient.

Anyway.

Sometimes when I'm walking around in my building, I find funny things. Like anyone exploring a strange and unfamiliar place, I have decided to share these funny things with you.

I call it Secrets of Corporate America

We'll start off with this little curiosity. On the 2nd floor, near the skyway between building C and D, is...



a dumbwaiter?

I imagine that this used to deliver... something... to someone...

Maybe the suits up on the 5th floor get room service?

But then why is there a stop on every floor?

I didn't dare to try to send something on it. Someday I will.

I was intrigued with the idea of a "premium pen" when I encountered the store in the mall of america dedicated to the concept. Debaters are generally particular about their pens, but I don't know anyone who requires anything more "primo" than that which can be purchased at staples.

I was a little too worried that I would like the $200 Mont Blanc pens too much, so I decided not to try them out. However, I have since wondered whether the experience is truly different.

Well thanks to some real men or women of genius, I am now going to try to upgrade my pen experience on the cheap.

UPDATE: upon reading the comments on the linked page, it looks like doing this to a retractable pen risks the ink drying out too fast. Luckily Pilot sells a capped version of the g2 as well, though I'm not sure if its as ubiquitous as the G2

Some of you may already know that Jessie and I have found a new co-obsession with one of those damn video games that the kids are playing these days. In fact, that's why we added PC #2 in our apartment. Anyway, if you like video games, or fun, or yourself, you should play this game this weekend. Two reasons.

1. It's accessible while still being deep. It's got loads of strategy and adrelanine and good ol' fashion fun and games. Quite possibly the best multiplayer game ever. You heard me.

2. For the rest of the weekend, it's free. You got nothing to lose except your boredom.

It's nice, after a week of trying to get a goddamn old computer to run (word of advice for those building their own PCs: don't cheap out on power!), and a morning of painstakingly assembling sweedish furniture, to find that your TV stand matches your hardwood floor without any effort on your part.

Thank you Sweeden.